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Trust is not what you think it is. It is not absolute or universal. Trust is relative. The same behavior that would cause one person to trust you could cause another person to distrust you. The level of trust someone has in you is the product of their trustfulness (their willingness to trust other people) and your trustworthiness. There is almost (I said ALMOST) nothing you can do about the former, and everything you can do about the latter. Because of that, you must evaluate your own trustworthiness one relationship at a time, separately. Odds are, though, that the same behaviors that are holding you back from being more trusted in one relationship are holding you back from being more trusted in other relationships. Welcome to The Trust Show. I’m your host, Yoram Solomon, a top 10 trust expert and researcher, the author of the book of trust, and the creator of the Trust Habits® workshop that helps people and organizations form new habits that change old behaviors, build trust, and transform organizations. In this educational podcast, I will challenge you to think differently about trust, through the 8 laws of trust and the 6 components of trustworthiness. I will share my own stories, experiences of others, trust research, and sometimes, reflect on a news item. And through those, I will show you how to build trust, be trusted, and know who to trust. Because the answer to this question will have the biggest impact on your personal and professional, success or failure: can you be trusted?
Episodes
Sunday May 29, 2022
Sunday May 29, 2022
My wife heads a Dallas community organization, and recently brought Erez Hasson, a speaker from Israel. For 26 years, Erez was an operator in the Israel Security Agency (ISA, parallel to U.S. NSA), which focuses on Counterterrorism activities in Israel, the West Bank, and the Gaza Strip. If you watched the Netflix show Fauda, his role was like that of Captain Ayob. He recruited spies within the Palestinian territories and then handled them to collect HumInt (Human Intelligence). Erez retired in 2018. I sat down with him and interviewed him for this episode. My main question was, how can you turn someone who hates you (and all Israelis) to a spy who works for you, and how can you trust him (or her)? I used my 8 laws of trust and my 6-component trustworthiness model, and here is what I learned.
Sunday May 22, 2022
Sunday May 22, 2022
There is a new approach to feedback, referred to as “feed-forward” (compared to “feed backward”, which is what the classic type of feedback is referred to). The idea behind “feed-forward” is that instead of giving feedback after the deed is done, when there is no opportunity to implement this feedback (at least not on the deed that was already done), you should give “course corrections” while the work is still being done. It is forward-looking (thus “feed-forward”) compared with backward-looking (thus “feed-back”). In this episode, I explain more about the philosophy of feed-forward, compare it with classical feedback, and provide tips on how to decide which one you should choose in a specific situation.
Sunday May 15, 2022
Sunday May 15, 2022
This is the fifth episode in the mini-series about TRUST and Feedback, and the second about TAKING feedback. In this episode, I will explain the importance of not being defensive when you get feedback, and what not to do when you get it. The episode will discuss again perception versus reality, but this time from the recipient’s perspective. Finally, it will explain how to benefit the most from the feedback you receive, and how to follow up after you received it.
Sunday May 08, 2022
Sunday May 08, 2022
The fourth episode of the TRUST and Feedback mini-series starts to address taking feedback. First, why do I call it “taking” feedback and not “getting” or “receiving” feedback? Why is taking feedback important to you? What should you do if nobody gives you feedback (and why aren’t they giving you feedback?). You will learn what to do when you are offered feedback but are not ready to take it, and what to do when you suspect that feedback is given to you with ulterior motive.
Sunday May 01, 2022
Sunday May 01, 2022
In the third episode of this mini-series about trust and feedback, you will learn how to deliver negative feedback in a constructive and effective way and how to be positive when you deliver negative feedback. You will also realize that there is such a thing as too much feedback, and how to deal with a recipient who doesn’t want to take your feedback. Finally, I will discuss my personal opinion of the “Feedback Sandwich” method (hint: I don’t like it).
Sunday Apr 24, 2022
Sunday Apr 24, 2022
This is the second of a six-episode mini-series about TRUST and feedback. This episode will discuss your reasoning for giving feedback and the relationship between perception and reality in your feedback. Once you know you want to give feedback, you will learn how to see if the recipient of feedback is ready to take your feedback, what to do if they are not, and when and where you should give that feedback.
Sunday Apr 17, 2022
Sunday Apr 17, 2022
There is a reciprocal relationship between trust, giving feedback, and receptivity to feedback. In one of my surveys, I found that when you trust someone, you are 106% more willing to give them the direct, unfiltered feedback they need to hear, rather than tell them what you think they want to hear. But this reciprocity doesn’t end there. When you give someone the feedback they need, with the clear intention (through their eyes) of helping them become a better version of themselves, they will trust you more. In this episode, I will show you the levels of feedback, discuss positive vs. negative feedback, and give you tips on how to give feedback.
Sunday Apr 10, 2022
Sunday Apr 10, 2022
TRUST is continuously declining. There are multiple sources, assessments, and surveys that show that. But why is it declining? It was said that the first step to solving any problem is recognizing that there is one. But the second step is to understand why. Why is trust declining? In this episode, I will use the 6 components of my trustworthiness model, and show how behaviors in each one of them cause the decline of trustworthiness and, as a result, a decline in the level of trust. In the end, I will also include two of the 8 laws of trust, and how shifts in those cause a further decline in trust.
Sunday Apr 03, 2022
Sunday Apr 03, 2022
One of the six components of my trustworthiness model is time. Time is one of the “what you do” group of dynamic components. Time accelerates the impact that the interaction's positivity (or negativity) has on your trustworthiness level. But not all time is equal. You know that it takes time to build trust. You also know that once you lose trust, it is almost impossible (or takes a tremendous amount of time) to rebuild it. You also heard that “nobody gets a second chance to make a first impression.” The first impression plays a special role in building trust, as well. This episode will discuss the special role of first impression in building your trustworthiness, explain why it has such a strong impact, explain what happens over time, and give you some advice related to the role that first impression plays in building your trustworthiness.
Sunday Mar 20, 2022
Sunday Mar 20, 2022
My 8th Law of Trust states that the level of trust I have in you is the product of my Trustability, or my willingness to trust other people in general, and your trustworthiness. In workshops, I typically say that there is nothing you can do about the former (my trustability), and everything you can do about the latter (your trustworthiness). This is also why my Trust Habits workshop focuses on forming habits that will build your own trustworthiness.
But that’s not entirely true. There is something, even though very little, that you can do to affect other people’s trustability, and with that, comes a responsibility. In this episode, I will discuss trustability in a little more depth, show you how you can affect it, and emphasize the responsibility that comes with it.